The student news site of Oakton High School

Oakton Outlook

The student news site of Oakton High School

Oakton Outlook

The student news site of Oakton High School

Oakton Outlook

The realities of being transgender

The realities of being transgender

Learn more about a commonly misunderstood topic in the news

Gender identity has been in the news lately, due to FCPS’s highly publicized adoption of a non-discrimination policy, but many people today don’t understand what it means to be transgender – the “T” in “LGBT.” Sexual orientation and gender identity are not the same thing, contrary to a common misconception. Oakton student Jason Dowdy identifies as a transgender male and seeks to dispel some of the misconceptions.

“The most common misconception about transgender people is that we’re just confused people, unhappy with ourselves and seeking attention. That’s not the case at all. We are just people whose brain[s] developed as the opposite gender and are trying to match the way we feel inside,” said Dowdy.
Coming out as transgender can be difficult, especially when family and friends are not supportive. While most people Dowdy knows supported him when he came out as transgender, not everyone did.
“The most difficult part about transitioning was getting everyone else ‘on board,’” Dowdy said. “It’s hard on others who have known you for years to accept that you identify as the opposite gender and would prefer to go by a different name. You’ll get made fun of, lose friends, gain friends – it’s a whole mess.”
For Dowdy, coming out to family members was the most difficult part of transitioning, because they had known him for his entire life as female. His younger relatives – children and teenagers – were generally supportive. Many older relatives, unfamiliar with the concept of being transgender, were not as understanding.

“On New Year’s Day this year, one of my family [members]decided to chew me out in front of the whole family for being transgender. She was screaming at me,” Dowdy said. “None of the adults said a single word as a grown woman was yelling at a 16 year old. Every single kid, every teenager, stood up for me. They were telling her off for yelling at me, while one of my cousins was giving me a long hug. The adults stayed silent; the younger generation stood up when something wasn’t right.”

At Oakton, most teachers have been supportive, using Dowdy’s preferred name and pronouns, but substitutes refer only to the name on the official attendance sheet, even when he approaches them before class.
Dowdy wants the Oakton community to know that there is nothing bizarre or ‘wrong’ about transgender people. Much has been written about the effects of shared bathrooms, and the worst-case scenarios that people come up with are absurd, he says. In Dowdy’s words, transgender people are “not as fortunate as most who are born in a body that suits both their sex and gender.”

Frequently Asked QUESTIONS

• What does it mean to be transgender?
Essentially, being transgender means that a person’s biological sex does not match with that person’s internal gender identity. A transgender man was born female but identifies as male; a transgender woman was born male but identifies as female. Being transgender is not a mental illness or disorder – this is a common misconception.

• What do the terms “cisgender” and “genderqueer” mean?
Cisgender is the opposite of transgender: it means that one’s biological sex and gender identity are the same. Someone who is genderqueer does not identify as either male or female.

• What should I know about transgender etiquette?
Regardless of your personal beliefs about gender identity, it is important to be polite and kind. Someone else’s identity is not for you to decide, so respect the other person. Use the person’s preferred name and pronouns, not the ones that correspond to his or her biological sex.

• Which pronouns should I use?
Be respectful and use the pronouns that the person prefers to use. If you are not sure, ask. There is nothing wrong with asking: while it may seem awkward, it shows that you care and want to be supportive. If you make a mistake and use the wrong pronoun by accident, apologize.

• Is it okay to ask if someone is transgender or if someone is going to transition?
No, this is intrusive and inappropriate. Would you ask a woman if she were pregnant? The same code of conduct applies here. It is okay to be curious, especially because many people are not familiar with the concept of being transgender, but don’t be rude. If someone wants you to know, he or she will tell you.

• How should I react if someone tells me that he or she is transgender?
Above all, listen and be supportive. If someone reveals this information to you, it means that he or she trusts you and wants you to know. Thank the person for telling you and say that you support him or her.

 

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The realities of being transgender